What do you do when alcohol and a full nude strip club at a bachelor party tempted your Christian husband and he gives in to both temptations? Not only was he a visitor at this club, but he and the other three gentlemen had a little personal dance as well. Being the wife of this man, and a strong Christian, I am at such a loss of words! My mind is running wild for I cannot believe he would succumb to this for he always discriminated against places like these. But due to the alcohol and peer pressure (for the other gentlemen were single) he gave in to making a side stop that he didn't plan on. (He even told me prior to leaving that they wouldn't venture to places like those or hire out.) I cannot excuse these acts and he cannot give excuses for them. He just says he's sorry. How do I react? What do I do, aside from crying and praying, What do I pray for? The bride for this wedding is having her personal party this weekend and I'm invited. Supposedly she isn't upset about any of these acts, but I'm so embarrassed that I don't want to go. The wedding is next week and my husband is the best man! I know about forgiveness, but how! What do I do?
Your confusion in handling this problem is do to the multiple issues involved as well has your emotions. So let's address the problems one at a time.
What your husband did, without a doubt, was wrong on many fronts. The fact that those he was with were single has nothing to do with the issues. What happened was just as wrong for single men as it was for married men.
Peer pressure: Your husband allowed sinners to erode his moral stance. "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent" (Proverbs 1:10). As a result, he has severely damaged his reputation, your trust, and his ability to ever teach these men the dangers in which they are they are participating. "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night" (Psalms 1:1-2).
Alcohol: I take it that your husband is not fully convinced about the dangers of alcohol. I would suggest studying "Old Testament Beverages" and "New Testament Beverages." Unless he is fully convinced that casual drinking is sinful, he will always be in danger of "accidentally" succumbing to the temptation.
Lap dancing: Naked or clothed, this form of dancing is wrong because its sole purpose is to be sensually stimulating. God is very clear that sensuality, or lewdness, is a sin. "Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy" (Romans 13:13).
The one bright spot is that he confessed his wrong. It at least shows that his conscience is not yet seared by these sins. Sit down and study II Corinthians 7:9-11. Concentrate on the meaning of the phrases in verse 11. If he is truly repentant (willing to change his ways) and not just sorry that he was caught, then discuss what the two of you can do to battle this problem in the future. What I would suggest is that for the next year or so that you focus on being a team. Minimize or eliminate his night outs or your nights out alone. You do things together, knowing that it will keep your mind on what is important in life.
I assume you know first-hand and not through others that the bride-to-be saw nothing wrong with her future husband's sins. I wouldn't suggest going to her party because of the agreement above, but I also would avoid it because you now know she has no restraint on her behavior (assuming you talked to her directly). I won't participate in such a wedding because it will not last if those involved are willing to break God's laws in the name of "fun." Those attending are serving as witnesses to the union. A best man should be seeing his job as not just getting to people married off for a short moment, but helping them lay a foundation that will last their lifetime. It showed poor thinking on your husband's part to undermine marital faithfulness before the wedding.
You can't make your husband not go, but you can decide for yourself what you will and will not condone. Pray that your husband learns to be a man and a faithful Christian. Pray that you can guide him by your example (I Peter 3:1-6).
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