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I have been looking for scriptural advice when I came across your article on “Spousal Rape”.  It is plain to see you don’t know what rape is.  My daughter – who married with our joyful blessing to a young man that asked to court her – obeyed all our requests – and honored our daughter’s desire to marry pure.  After the marriage, he insisted that since they were married he could do anything to her, and began abusing and raping her meaning:  holding a pillow wrapped around her face to stop her screams while he sodomized her.  That is rape – it had nothing to do with her just not wanting sex.   

I’m just trying to fight my way through all the bad counsel to try to find some compassionate help for our very shocked and hurt family.


I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's marriage to a creep. However, you are describing physical abuse and assault. There are laws against both and they should be enforced in this case. His treatment of his wife is a clear violation of Ephesians 5:28-29, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

The term "rape" refers to non-consensual sex. It is possible for a person to be raped without being violently assaulted, such as what happens when a woman is drugged. And it is possible for someone to be violently assaulted without being raped. Hence, the fact that your daughter was assaulted by her husband during sex does not mean she was also raped. Consent for sex is given when a man and woman marry (I Corinthians 7:1-8). It is not given and withdrawn on a moment-by-moment basis as those advocating "spousal rape" desire it to be.

Marriage is not consent for being abused. Legal action should be taken by your daughter without delay before the problem escalates.


See also:

Questions and Answers regarding Rape
Questions and Answers regarding Sexual Relations