Being a Conversationalist


Text: Romans 12:10-18


I.          A young lady wrote and ask, how can you be a good conversationalist? I’m so boring. I don’t know how to strike up an interesting conversation.

             A.         It is a good question because talking to people is something we just take for granted.

II.         Start by listening – really listening

             A.         The biggest mistake people make is thinking they have to say interesting things to have a good conversation.

             B.         James 1:19-20 - Swift to hear and slow to speak

             C.         In a conversation, only one person can speak at a time - Ecclesiastes 3:7

             D.         Allowing the other person to speak shows respect for the person - Romans 12:10

             E.         But so few people really listen. Most only hear what they want to hear.

                          1.          Example is the disciples - Mark 9:31-32

                          2.          Jesus’ words were clear, but the disciples couldn’t comprehend because it wasn’t what they expected or wanted

             F.         Some only listen so long as like what is being said - Acts 22:21-22

III.        Your attitude matters

             A.         Be cheerful

                          1.          Who enjoys talking to someone whose outlook on life is gloomy?

                          2.          Proverbs 17:22 - Cheerfulness does a person good.

                          3.          People will want to talk longer

             B.         Be encouraging

                          1.          Help people feel better - Proverbs 12:25

                          2.          Stir up love and good works - Hebrews 10:24

                          3.          Be kind and tenderhearted - Ephesians 4:32

             C.         Be interested

                          1.          Weep and rejoice with others - Romans 12:15

                          2.          Esteem others as better - Philippians 2:3-4

                          3.          Share burdens - Galatians 6:2

IV.       Consider your words

             A.         Don’t say everything that comes to mind

                          1.          Words can be a snare - Proverbs 18:7

                          2.          Spare your words and will appear wiser - Proverbs 17:27-28

             B.         Be choosy about your words - Colossians 4:6

                          1.          The wise man’s words are gracious - Ecclesiastes 10:12

                          2.          Benefits from well chosen words - Proverbs 16:21-24

                          3.          Words that benefit the hearer - Ephesians 4:29

             C.         Say things that help others - Proverbs 10:21; 15:7

             D.         Be careful of other people’s feelings

                          1.          Don’t spread a person’s faults - Proverbs 17:9

                          2.          Keep disagreements private - Proverbs 25:9

V.         Controlling the tongue is hard - James 3:2

             A.         Yet we must try